Red Sangria

Red Sangria
  • 1.5L Cabernet. I prefer to pay less than $15 for it. I've maintained my college mindset, I can't help it.
  • 8oz Blood Red Orange Juice
  • 1oz Peach Vodka
  • 1oz Blackberry Brandy
  • 1oz Rum
  • 3oz Club Soda
  • 1/2 Cup Sugar
  • 1 Granny Smith Apple
  • 1 Nectarine
  • 6 Strawberries

In a large pitcher, add all of the fruit after it's been cubed. Stir in all ingredients and let chill for about a day before serving. *This cocktail is best served with the company of my lovely friend Joelle.

I've been slacking on adding cocktails even though my content knowledge is outrageous. What is more outrageous is that fact that I feel the need to make each cocktail to have a photo. This is not going to happen, I just can't drink like I'm in college any more. So, here are the recipes. Make them pretty for me : )

MAN FOOD: Crab Meat Stuffed Trout

     Beef Jerky, yes. Pizza, sure. Crab meat stuffed trout, is this really a MAN FOOD?
I don't know, is trekking 90+ miles to an animals home to rip it from existence simply to nourish myself manly? How about if I shove two more animals inside of it, simply to enhance its flavor from good to amazing? Yes its MAN FOOD, Don't doubt me again. But if you still need convincing read this article, not in your own voice but in the voice of Sam Elliot.

Here's What your going to need:

  • 1 Trout. freshly retrieved from its habitat using cunning ticks.
  • 1/2 cup Crab meat.
  • 1 stalk of Celery.
  • 1 Clove of Garlic.
  • 1/8 cup Onion.
  • 3 strips Bacon.
  • ~2 Tbsp. Mayonnaise.
  • ~2 Tbsp. Butter (Melted)
  • Bread Crumbs.
  • 1 Egg. Which I forgot to take a picture of.
     Let us commence. First, cook your bacon. Firster, wake up at five in the morning and jump in an American pick-up truck with your father and drive to your favorite fishing spot. Use your smart human brain to fool the dumb fish, with their not human brain, into thinking a shiny piece of metal is its prey. Then wrestle the little bastard into your net, and repeat, until the state of Pennsylvania says your done for the day(or drain a lake, which ever you find more suitable). Clean your fish and drive home, you choose the order. Now cook your bacon, you saw that in the last MAN FOOD: Pizza.

     Dice your celery, dice your onion, dice your garlic. Into a bowl combine those now diced accoutrements along with all the other none trout ingredients. I did not list how much bread crumbs to use, and the butter and mayonnaise are "abouts", there's a good reason for this... I didn't measure them. Here again you have to use your human brain to achieve a certain level of consistency for your stuffing.

     Crush up your bacon and add it to your concoction. Then place the stuffing into the fish's now empty body, like Dr. Frankenstein meets Emeril. Its not all going to fit but do your best. Wrap the creation up in aluminum foil and place into your 350˚ oven. About half way through cooking unwrap your masterpiece so the excess moisture is let out and the stuffing can develop a satisfying crunch. Depending on fish size and stuffing amount this will take 45-60 minutes maybe longer, fish is done when its no longer translucent and flaky.

That second wrapped item is the left over stuffing.
Pro-tip: High class lemons go a long way.

     Trout. I declare you MAN FOOD.

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Greek Taco

Let's all thank Jeff, the newly crowned Sandwich King for this yummy recipe. So simple, so delicious, so filling and so refreshing. I totally edited the original recipe.

What you'll need:

  • 1lb Ground Lamb
  • 1/4 c Diced Red Onion
  • 1 minced Garlic Clove
  • 1 tbls Tomato Paste
  • 1/4 tsp Oregano
  • 2 tbls Dry Red Cooking Wine
  • Salt/Pepper
  • 4 Small Pitas
  • 1/2 Cucumber, peeled and shredded
  • 1 cup Greek Yogurt
  • 1/2 Minced Garlic Close
Cucumber Tomato Relish:
  • 1 tbls Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • 1 tbls Red Wine Vinegar
  • 2 tomatoes, seeded and diced
  • 1/2 Cucumber, peeled and cubed
  • 1/4c diced Red Onion
  • Salt/Pepper
Make it:
*Quick note. I like to make the relish and tzatziki first and let chill while cooking the rest.

 In a large skillet, heat the oil over me-high heat. Add the lamb, sprinkle with salt and pepper and cook until for approximately 10 to 12 minutes. Once the meat turns golden brown, remove the lamb and set aside. Turn the heat down to medium and saute the onions in the lamb juices until soft, about 5 minutes. Add the oregano and garlic and cook until fragrant. Season. Add the tomato paste and cook until it caramelizes. Deglaze with the red wine and scrape any bits up that have adhered to the pan. Add the lamb back in, stir and set aside.

For the tzatziki: In a food processor, add the cucumber and garlic and quickly shred. Remove from the processor and fold in the yogurt. Refrigerate until ready to use. 

For the tomato/cucumber relish: Chop the cucumber, tomato and onion and place into a small bowl. Add the vinegar and let soak and the rest of the ingredients and stir together. Refrigerate until ready to use. 

After the lamb mixture is ready, very lightly toast the Pita. Then layer on the tzatziki on the pita, add the lamb, then top with the relish. 

Make it healthier and cook with Ground Turkey, whole wheat pitas, and fat free yogurt!


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