Beef Jerky, yes. Pizza, sure. Crab meat stuffed trout, is this really a MAN FOOD?
I don't know, is trekking 90+ miles to an animals home to rip it from existence simply to nourish myself manly? How about if I shove two more animals inside of it, simply to enhance its flavor from good to amazing? Yes its MAN FOOD, Don't doubt me again. But if you still need convincing read this article, not in your own voice but in the voice of
Sam Elliot.
Here's What your going to need:
- 1 Trout. freshly retrieved from its habitat using cunning ticks.
- 1/2 cup Crab meat.
- 1 stalk of Celery.
- 1 Clove of Garlic.
- 1/8 cup Onion.
- 3 strips Bacon.
- ~2 Tbsp. Mayonnaise.
- ~2 Tbsp. Butter (Melted)
- Bread Crumbs.
- 1 Egg. Which I forgot to take a picture of.
Let us commence.
First, cook your bacon. Firster, wake up at five in the morning and jump in an American pick-up truck with your father and drive to your favorite fishing spot. Use your smart human brain to fool the dumb fish, with their not human brain, into thinking a shiny piece of metal is its prey. Then wrestle the little bastard into your net, and repeat, until the state of Pennsylvania says your done for the day(or drain a lake, which ever you find more suitable). Clean your fish and drive home, you choose the order. Now cook your bacon, you saw that in the last
MAN FOOD: Pizza.
Dice your celery, dice your onion, dice your garlic. Into a bowl combine those now diced accoutrements along with all the other none trout ingredients. I did not list how much bread crumbs to use, and the butter and mayonnaise are "abouts", there's a good reason for this... I didn't measure them. Here again you have to use your human brain to achieve a certain level of consistency for your stuffing.
Crush up your bacon and add it to your concoction. Then place the stuffing into the fish's now empty body, like Dr. Frankenstein meets Emeril. Its not all going to fit but do your best. Wrap the creation up in aluminum foil and place into your 350˚ oven. About half way through cooking unwrap your masterpiece so the excess moisture is let out and the stuffing can develop a satisfying crunch. Depending on fish size and stuffing amount this will take 45-60 minutes maybe longer, fish is done when its no longer translucent and flaky.
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That second wrapped item is the left over stuffing. |
Pro-tip: High class lemons go a long way.
Trout. I declare you MAN FOOD.
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