Wild Mushroom and Sweet Potato Gratin

What a GREAT side dish! This is also my introduction to Fontina cheese. Edited from yet another Cooking Light recipe!

What you'll need:

• 2 teaspoons olive oil 
• 4 cups (1/4-inch-thick) sliced cremini mushrooms (about 8 ounces)
• 3 1/2 cups (1/4-inch-thick) sliced chanterelle mushrooms (about 8 ounces)
• 1/3 cup finely chopped shallots
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, divided
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper, divided
• 1 1/2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley, divided
• 1 1/2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives, divided
• 4 cups peeled sweet potatoes, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices (about 1 1/2 pounds)
• 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded fontina cheese
• 1/2 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth 

Skittle Vodka

No; I am not an alcoholic... I am a liquor connoisseur - trust me. This recipe takes time, effort, and the ability to have a good time - with of course the vodka. I made this with a friend of mine who absolutely loves candy and to party (I mean hey, who doesn't??)

Now Here's what you need to TASTE THE RAINBOW!

• First off a handle of Vodka
• Large bag of Skittles ( I bought a 54oz bag)
• 5 large empty water bottles
• Roughly 30 coffee filters
• 5 Glass bottles
• A Funnel
• 5 plastic baggies
• a measuring cup
• and patience.

Lets start off by completely separating the Skittles into corresponding colors in separate bags.Next measure out and fill the empty plastic bottles with roughly 12 oz of vodka. Once you have filled all of them - if you can  - count 120 of one color of Skittles (If you can't count that high, you should not be making this ಠ_ಠ...) That's roughly 6 friends who have all toes and fingers if you get confused..

Once you counted super high of each color, put those into corresponding plastic bottles.

Once you have them all filled with the rainbow, close the cap tightly and shake vigorously! Then allow all of them to sit for several hours until they look as awesome as this:

 

Now after this step you need to just settle down and wait. All of the Skittles to dissolve into the vodka over night. This allows you to do what everyone thinks is normal in the morning... Play with vodka. In the morning we discovered that there was a gross looking white foam. 

Well here's where you need the patience of a saint.  Take around 5 coffee filters, a funnel, and an empty cup large enough to fit to vodka and begin to strain by: Placing 5 filters into the funnel and pouring the vodka through. To say this is slow would be an understatement.

I suggest doing multiples of the same color in separate cups at the same time, to save time (if you have enough funnels). Also, the purple and orange will need more filters, or will need to be re-filtered because we discovered the foam could get through. Orange also took all night so I STRONGLY suggest to do that in 2 cups at the same time.

Once you have them all filtered and poured into the neat glass bottles, place in the freezer over night. Invite friends over for a party and taste the rainbow!! Celebrate this awesome recipe with a party, which will required you to make more at the end of!

Freakin' Bacon Fried Rice!

You might be thinking...

 But I'm thinking...

This isn't really a 'man food' per se. Mostly because that's not my section and I'm incapable of writing like that nor do I care / want to try. However; the time has come for me to make something absolutely amazing.. Whats better than food itself? BACON. Whats better than white rice? Fried Rice. What happens when you put them together? Something that should be deemed illegal in seven states - Bacon Fried Rice. You say Disgusting? NAY! I say grow a pair! You say unhealthy? I say we all die sooner or later. You say fattening??? NAY!!! I say hit the gym Nancy!
Now listen up get into the freakin' kitchen and grab this crap:

• 2 cups of rice
• 3 THICK cuts of bacon
• A Carrot
• 4 Green Onions
• 1 sm Onion minced
• 1/4 tsp Ginger
• 2 Cloves minced Garlic
• 1 egg
• Soy Sauce
• Sugar

  Anything else you think would be awesome in this concoction.

Get the that rice on the stove and let it cook!

First things first, grab fire and place metal thing over fire. I prefer something meat won't stick to. Next grab them slabs of pig's gift and cut them into chunks of bite sized godliness. Sear those suckers up and let them cook. Once they're to your perfection; take out the bacon. BUT WAIT; use that liquid gold grease to pan sear those healthy things I call vegetables. Once those vegetables are seared and soft, crack an egg and began scrambling that up! Once the egg is FULLY cooked (don't need to die here). Throw in the freshly cooked rice and mix around to get that great bacon grease fully coating everything. Next throw in that soy sauce and continue to add to you see fit! Mix that all around until fully coated. Next? Whats healthier than bacon?? SUGAR! Add that stuff, mix around and serve that to those who think they can handle this.

Now when you're finished with this and about to eat it.. Just enjoy and say: 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

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