Freakin' Bacon Fried Rice!

You might be thinking...

 But I'm thinking...

This isn't really a 'man food' per se. Mostly because that's not my section and I'm incapable of writing like that nor do I care / want to try. However; the time has come for me to make something absolutely amazing.. Whats better than food itself? BACON. Whats better than white rice? Fried Rice. What happens when you put them together? Something that should be deemed illegal in seven states - Bacon Fried Rice. You say Disgusting? NAY! I say grow a pair! You say unhealthy? I say we all die sooner or later. You say fattening??? NAY!!! I say hit the gym Nancy!
Now listen up get into the freakin' kitchen and grab this crap:

• 2 cups of rice
• 3 THICK cuts of bacon
• A Carrot
• 4 Green Onions
• 1 sm Onion minced
• 1/4 tsp Ginger
• 2 Cloves minced Garlic
• 1 egg
• Soy Sauce
• Sugar

  Anything else you think would be awesome in this concoction.

Get the that rice on the stove and let it cook!

First things first, grab fire and place metal thing over fire. I prefer something meat won't stick to. Next grab them slabs of pig's gift and cut them into chunks of bite sized godliness. Sear those suckers up and let them cook. Once they're to your perfection; take out the bacon. BUT WAIT; use that liquid gold grease to pan sear those healthy things I call vegetables. Once those vegetables are seared and soft, crack an egg and began scrambling that up! Once the egg is FULLY cooked (don't need to die here). Throw in the freshly cooked rice and mix around to get that great bacon grease fully coating everything. Next throw in that soy sauce and continue to add to you see fit! Mix that all around until fully coated. Next? Whats healthier than bacon?? SUGAR! Add that stuff, mix around and serve that to those who think they can handle this.

Now when you're finished with this and about to eat it.. Just enjoy and say: 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

cooking, beef, bacon, eating, recipe, blog meat, chicken, rice, soy sauce, stir fry, man food meal food eating awesome

Vegetable Fried Rice

Want to put a spin on the same rice that you always have? Well This recipe is really easy, and I'll let you know how to do it.

Heres what you'll need:

• 4 c cold white rice
• 1 carrot
• 3 green onions
• 2 tbls oil
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1 egg (OPTIONAL)
• 2 tbls soy sauce

First lets slice the green onions, and slice the carrots. Then in a large pan or wok heat up 2 tablespoons of oil. Once the oil is hot, throw in the carrots and allow them to cook until they are soft. Once the carrots are done, throw in the green onions next. After a minute or so, crack in egg and scramble it. This is a good time to break apart the egg into tiny pieces. Once the egg is fully cooked, throw in the rice and break that down if it is in clumps. Allow the rice to get hot, then add 1 teaspoon of sugar, and continue mixing. To finish off the rice throw in 2 tablespoons of soy sauce and mix through.

Once the soy sauce is completely mixed through and the rice is hot again, remove from heat, plate and enjoy!!

General Tso's Chicken

I was in the mood for some Chinese food last night and decided to take a crack at it. It looked like it would be difficult, but it was SUPER EASY!! Well lucky for me, it turned out awesome! Lucky for you I'll share how I made it!

Here's what you'll need: 

• 1 pkg of chicken (I used thighs)
• 3 green onions
• 2tbl cornstarch
• 1 tbls sugar
• 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
• 2 tbls sugar
• 3 tbls water
• 2 tsp ginger
• 3 cloves of garlic
• 2 tbls rice vinegar (or white vinegar)
• 4 tbls soy sauce

Lets start off by first cutting up all the ingredients such as the ginger, garlic, and onions. Slice the green onions, peel and mince or grate the ginger, and then mince the garlic. Next combine all the ingredients except for the chicken into a bowl and allow to sit. Next cut the chicken into about 1 in. chunks and pan sear them in a wok or a regular pan. Once the chicken it completely cooked through, pour the other ingredients onto the chicken while the pan is still on. keep stirring until the sauce thickens. Once thick, transfer to a plate and ENJOY!

If you want more spice, add more crushed red pepper flakes!
If you want more sauce, just double the recipe but only use a total of 3 tbls of cornstarch.

Lettuce Wraps

Crunchy and delicious. Super Simple. Fun and healthy.  Trifecta! : )

What you'll need:

• 1/2 Head Iceburg Lettuce
• 1lb 99% Fat Free Ground Turkey
• 1 Carrot
• 1/2 Cucumber
• 1 Handful Dry Roasted Peanuts
• 1/2 Green, Red, or Yellow Pepper
• 1 Clove Garlic
• 1/2 Jalepeno

Dipping Sauce:

• 2 tbls Hoisin Sauce
• 1 1/2 tbls Peanut Butter
• 1/4 cup Lite Soy Sauce
• 1/4 tsp Red Pepper Flakes
• 1 tsp Ginger
• 1 Clove Garlic
• Fresh Lemon
• 1 tbls Rice Wine Vinegar

Start this off with making the sauce. I like to make the sauce as a a little potent because ground turkey is very bland and flavorless and tends to soak up all the flavor of this sauce when it's cooked in. 

Very simply mince the 1 garlic clove and ginger as finely as you can. Add all the ingredients of the dipping sauce together in a mixing bowl and whisk until completely mixed or peanut butter blends completely.

Let this refrigerated while we work on everything else. Taste test...is the sauce a little salty for your taste? Add a little water and a teaspoon of sugar!

Julienne (cut into thin, long strips) the carrot, cucumber, jalepeno and peppers. In a small bowl add some Rice Wine Vinegar and let them soak. Chop up the jalepeno a little more if you're afraid of the heat.

Rise your 1/2 Head of Iceburg lettuce well and gently pull off the "cups" and arrange on a plate.

In a medium dry heated pan, add the ground turkey with the other minced garlic clove. As is begins to cook, start chopping the meat until it starts to look crumbled. Cook thoroughly for approximately 15 minutes.

Once the turkey is about 80% done, add the sauce and let it cook in. (*If you broke the rules and are using ground beef or chicken or turkey that is not 99% fat free, please drain the fat from your pan before adding the sauce we made.) Have extra sauce? Good! Put it in a small cup on the side for dipping! Continue to cook for another 5 minutes, or until the turkey is done cooking.

Then, drain the vegetables that were soaking in the Rice Wine Vinegar.

Arrange the veggie blend on a large serving plate next to a small pile of peanuts with the lettuce cups and a small cup of the dipping sauce in the center.

In a small bowl, serve the ground turkey on the side or on the plate for individual servings.

Let the fun begin by building your wraps with all your favorite pieces!


*Editors note:  I mentioned serving this with peanuts. They are supposed to be on the plate until I realized my lovely boyfriend ate them all. So, you get a dinosaur instead. Don't eat the dinosaur.