Freakin' Bacon Fried Rice!

You might be thinking...

 But I'm thinking...

This isn't really a 'man food' per se. Mostly because that's not my section and I'm incapable of writing like that nor do I care / want to try. However; the time has come for me to make something absolutely amazing.. Whats better than food itself? BACON. Whats better than white rice? Fried Rice. What happens when you put them together? Something that should be deemed illegal in seven states - Bacon Fried Rice. You say Disgusting? NAY! I say grow a pair! You say unhealthy? I say we all die sooner or later. You say fattening??? NAY!!! I say hit the gym Nancy!
Now listen up get into the freakin' kitchen and grab this crap:

• 2 cups of rice
• 3 THICK cuts of bacon
• A Carrot
• 4 Green Onions
• 1 sm Onion minced
• 1/4 tsp Ginger
• 2 Cloves minced Garlic
• 1 egg
• Soy Sauce
• Sugar

  Anything else you think would be awesome in this concoction.

Get the that rice on the stove and let it cook!

First things first, grab fire and place metal thing over fire. I prefer something meat won't stick to. Next grab them slabs of pig's gift and cut them into chunks of bite sized godliness. Sear those suckers up and let them cook. Once they're to your perfection; take out the bacon. BUT WAIT; use that liquid gold grease to pan sear those healthy things I call vegetables. Once those vegetables are seared and soft, crack an egg and began scrambling that up! Once the egg is FULLY cooked (don't need to die here). Throw in the freshly cooked rice and mix around to get that great bacon grease fully coating everything. Next throw in that soy sauce and continue to add to you see fit! Mix that all around until fully coated. Next? Whats healthier than bacon?? SUGAR! Add that stuff, mix around and serve that to those who think they can handle this.

Now when you're finished with this and about to eat it.. Just enjoy and say: 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

cooking, beef, bacon, eating, recipe, blog meat, chicken, rice, soy sauce, stir fry, man food meal food eating awesome

Vegetable Fried Rice

Want to put a spin on the same rice that you always have? Well This recipe is really easy, and I'll let you know how to do it.

Heres what you'll need:

• 4 c cold white rice
• 1 carrot
• 3 green onions
• 2 tbls oil
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1 egg (OPTIONAL)
• 2 tbls soy sauce

First lets slice the green onions, and slice the carrots. Then in a large pan or wok heat up 2 tablespoons of oil. Once the oil is hot, throw in the carrots and allow them to cook until they are soft. Once the carrots are done, throw in the green onions next. After a minute or so, crack in egg and scramble it. This is a good time to break apart the egg into tiny pieces. Once the egg is fully cooked, throw in the rice and break that down if it is in clumps. Allow the rice to get hot, then add 1 teaspoon of sugar, and continue mixing. To finish off the rice throw in 2 tablespoons of soy sauce and mix through.

Once the soy sauce is completely mixed through and the rice is hot again, remove from heat, plate and enjoy!!

Breakfast Burger

I don't care what time of day it is when you eat this burger. The bottom line is that you MUST eat this burger. It's killer.

What you'll need:

• 1 lb 96% Lean Ground Beef
• 4 Eggs
• 1/2 White Onion
• 4 slices Fat Free Sharp Cheddar Cheese
• 1/4 tsp Worcestershire Sauce
• Grill Mates Hamburger Seasoning (or your favorite kind)
• Lettuce
• 2 Tomatoes
• Kaiser Rolls
• 6 Bacon Slices (low sodium)

Make It:

In a mixing bowl add the ground beef and burger seasoning and a dash of Worcestershire. Mix this together well. Once mixed, make your burger patties. I make 4 from 1 pound of beef.

On the side, roughly chop up the onion. Once chopped, smash the onions onto one side of the burger while keeping the patty in tact. 

This cooks best in a pan as opposed to a grill because of the onions. Heat the pan on high heat with a tsp of butter and let the pan get super hot. Once there, place the burgers in the pan, onion side down. Let the aroma take over--yuuuumm.

Press on the burgers every once in awhile to keep them flat before they ball up. After 6 minutes, flip the burger and repeat until you reach the desired level of done-ness.

In a smaller pan, cook the bacon until well done on med-high heat. Once cooked, place the bacon slices on a plate with a paper towel to drain the excess grease.

In a separate pan cook your eggs over easy. You read that right, cook the eggs as normal with some salt and pepper. 

After you determine your burgers are done, place the cheese over the top of the burger and put a lid on it and let the cheese melt. This should take all of 45 seconds.

Take your burgers off the heat and put them on the bun, onion side down, layer the egg on top of the burger and then top with lettuce and tomato. Enjoy that bad boy.

Optional: Add Pesto Mayo!

Zuke and Mac

I have relatives who live in Italy...here is their masterpiece. It's pasta with a zucchini marinara. Thanks Aunt Janie and Uncle Michael!

What you'll need:

• 1/4 Large Yellow Onion
• 4 Zucchini
• 1 14.5oz can diced tomato
• 1 8oz can tomato sauce
• 1/2 Stick Butter
• 1 Egg
• Parmesan Cheese (optional)
• 1 Clove Garlic
• 1 tsp Oregano
• 1 tsp Basil
• Salt
• Pepper

Make It:
Chop and Sautee onion with a dash of salt and pepper in a medium pan with extra virgin olive oil.
Chop and cube zucchini after deseeding it. I made that mistake once and it sucked. Add de-seeded Zukes to onions.
Continue to sautee until the zucchini is tender.
Add the diced tomato to the zucchini and let it cook on low for about 30 minutes. Add seasonings. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Boil your pasta while your zucchini and onion are finishing up. I like using whole wheat thin spaghetti, but this also works well with farfalle (bow ties), and angel hair.

While the pasta is cooking...

In a mixing bowl add that 1/2 stick of butter, cubed. Oh yes, the whole thing. (Where's my healthy agenda you ask? Well, the answer is simple...somtimes a sacrifice needs to be made. This is one of those times. But honestly, you can get away with only using a quarter stick and be okay.) Next, add the raw, beaten egg.

Before draining the pasta when finished, set aside a cup of the used pasta water.

In the mixing bowl containing the butter and egg, add the HOT pasta and mix very well. The pasta will cook the egg and melt the butter.

Then, add the zucchini sauce! If is slightly dry, pour some of that used pasta water in there and mix it up until it reached your desired looseness. If you want to add the cheese, sprinkle it over the top.